NO NAME

My name is not important.

You don’t know me,

You never even tried.

You love me

If I’m just like you,

But you pass right on by

When I’m hungry

And holding a sign,

A poor beggar on your street side.

So don’t even try to tell me

About your love for God

Whom you cannot see.

Why are we so afraid to lose

What we never even had?

A dream, a dream, is all I have.

O why do you always say

What you don’t mean?

If only, if only,

You knew my tears,

Then you’d hear my heart’s cry.

If only you knew my pain,

You’d never look at me the same.

If only, if only,

You walked with me,

Then you’d know my name.

But you don’t know me,

You don’t even try.

I love you,

But it’s hard to love

A lie.

And you wear a gentle mask to hide

The heart that murders

Every poor child who dares cry,

“I am human!”

So here I stand in the truth,

Dreaming of love

As I die.

O to all the world,

A solemn goodbye.

LOVE & PEACE

If you could see my heart,

I wonder what you’d say.

Would you love me more,

Or throw me away?

How I wish I knew you,

How I wish I knew your name.

I thought you were a stranger,

I thought you were a beast.

Now I see so clearly,

But now it’s too late.

If you could see my heart,

I think you’d run away.

But if you looked more closely,

I think you’d see your own.

I’d show you love and mercy,

If you came to my home.

Will you show love and mercy,

Now that I’m all alone?

What peace in heaven have we,

If we don’t even try?

I wish you could know me,

But that all takes time.

Time passes quickly,

Some things you can’t take back.

I wish I could know you,

And give love a chance.

But now I’ll never know you,

And you’ll never see my heart.

I think you would’ve liked me,

If we’d given peace a chance.

We’d have laughed and played together,

I’d have held you when you cried.

Now I see you crying,

But there’s nothing I can do.

Now I see you laughing,

But I can’t laugh with you.

We never knew each other,

Maybe one day we will.

But right now you are living,

And shortly I’ll be dead.

I guess we hate each other,

I didn’t know your name.

I guess it’s cuz we’re different,

But I think deep down

We’re the same.

I guess it’s just too hard

To love one another,

And not take what’s not ours.

Right now it seems so easy,

I think for once I see,

If only things were different,

And we had strived for peace.

Then maybe we wouldn’t be here,

Maybe we’d be home.

Our song would be forgiveness,

And love would be our peace.

Maybe it sounds crazy,

So go ahead and judge.

But if you could see my heart,

O what would you say?

Would you love me more

Or hate me?

Today’s my dying day.

I don’t know where I’m going,

I’ve hoped and I’ve prayed.

All my life I’ve known

Love and hate.

Is there forgiveness?

Can there be peace?

These things I’ve never seen,

I don’t know what I believe.

But when I cry I know,

I want love and peace.

O when I die I know,

I want love and peace.

And as I die I know,

Although you’ve slapped me,

I’ll turn the other cheek.

And if you could see me,

I think you’d see yourself.

And if you could see me,

I think you would see,

We’re not all that different,

We hope and we dream.

O we’re not all that different,

Everything’s not what it seems.

And if you can see me,

Please hear my words.

Don’t you cry for me,

I don’t want your tears.

But if you can see me,

Live for love and peace.

Live for love and peace.

NOWHERE TO GO

If I could remember

Being a child,

I’d go back there,

To when things were so much simpler,

To when love was in a smile,

And peace in a cool breeze.

And I’d wonder how it would be

If trees could talk;

What would they say?

And I’d wonder just the same,

If birds could whistle words,

If we’d all up and change our ways.

O but it’s all gone away now,

All peace and all love,

Lost, lost in my childhood.

O and it makes sense to me now

To read about when Christ said,

“Let the children come to me;

Do not stop them,

For to such belongs

The kingdom of God.

Truly, I say to you,

Whoever does not receive

The kingdom of God

Like a child

Shall not enter it.”

So there it is,

Plain and simple,

In his words,

Not mine.

And now I wonder

About so many things

I wish I could find again.

And now I don’t know

Where I am;

And now I have nowhere to go.

But if I could remember,

I’d go back

To a smile,

To a cool breeze

In the mid-afternoon

With friends that would never leave

And a heart that always believed.

When I believed, I believed

There could be beauty.

Now I cry aloud for beauty,

For everything I hope for

But cannot see.

And now I have nowhere to go,

For the air is heavy

With the cries of the righteous,

And the ground is covered

In their blood.

And now mine is to question why,

To do right,

And to die;

That is my full duty.

So with all I am,

I walk on ahead;

But I hope, I pray,

I will see my dying day

Not so many years from now,

Lest I never make it back

To when love was in a smile

And peace in a cool breeze,

To my childhood

When friends would never leave

And God would still speak,

When I had ears to listen

And a heart that believed.

THE SOLEMN ODE

What do you do

When the line gets blurred

Between good and evil,

When the lie seems true

And the truth stands alone?

How do you stand

When you’re standing alone?

What do you say

When you can’t change anything anyway?

O and I’m so tired of trying,

But I haven’t even moved.

And I’m so afraid,

But the crazy thing is,

I think I’m afraid of me.

Because what if I’m wrong?

Sometimes I’d rather be wrong.

But I can’t escape the truth

Even if I try.

It follows me.

It won’t let me go.

Help me,

I’m standing alone.

No, not quite alone.

But the worst thing about company

Is that it hurts the most

When everyone leaves,

Because in the end,

We’re all betrayed.

Now I want to run,

Fly away like a bird,

But the truth doesn’t follow me

As something from the outside,

But from the inside it burns.

From the inside-out,

I cry out!

When will this end?

I hate your wars!

You call it peace.

I hate your words!

You call it love.

I hate your lies!

You call it sweet.

I hate your laws!

You call it god.

Should I bow down?

Should I surrender?

Should I let this become me?

Never!

I will not go down without a fight!

I will rage against the dying of the light!

Maybe I’m just angry,

Maybe I’m just crazy.

That’s what you’ll say.

You loved me only yesterday.

What about today?

What changed?

What changed?

Some things are never meant

To be understood,

Sometimes I only wish I could.

But the heart is wicked,

And the heart is stone,

And in life there are the still,

And in life there are the dead.

My hands are covered in my own blood.

I’ve been digging morning, noon, and night,

Tilling the soil for the slightest sign,

The slightest hope.

Has it been a year already?

No, not quite, but it’s time…

 

“Ode to the black boughs

Of that old withered tree,

No fruit have you borne for me.

Your fruit is bitter, O so bitter.

When I tasted you,

I spewed you out of my mouth!”

 

If you have fruit,

Spring forth and bud.

Do not hold back,

For now the season has come.

I guess this is it,

I guess this is goodbye.

I know it’ll hurt more

Than I can bear,

But I don’t really mind,

I’m dying anyway.

Even still, I hope, I pray,

O maybe it’s possible,

For something gold to stay.

And I will not bow down,

I will not surrender.

I will not go down without a fight.

I will rage against the dying of the light.

FACE TO FACE

I want to cry out

With the strength of a lion;

I want to tell you

What I see;

But if I’m blind,

I guess you see

The fruit of righteousness

Is sown in peace

By those who make peace.

 

So tell me,

Where is your heart,

Is it with God

Or is it with men?

I want to know how

You can love God

When you hate your brother

And your neighbor too.

 

I want to cry out

With the strength of a lion;

I want to tell you

What I see;

But it’s not that easy.

You say I’m trouble,

I say you’re full of lies.

You say I’m wrong,

I say you’re not right.

When will you see with your heart

And not with your eyes?

 

I want to know why

You think words are enough;

But words don’t mean anything.

You tell me it’s easy

If I just believe;

I guess you think believing

Is seeing things your way.

But your way is dying

Because Christ made

A new and living way.

 

I wish you could understand

You can’t hold God

In the palm of your hand;

And just when you think you know

Everything there is to know,

You know nothing

As you ought to know.

But if you love God

You’re known by him.

 

So please tell me

What it is to believe;

If it looks like you,

I might as well stay like me.

Because if love never fails,

Why do you always leave?

And if God wants peace,

Why do you love war?

And if you fear hell,

Why don’t you fear God?

And if you’ll lose your life

By saving it,

Why don’t you give your life

Instead of saving it?

 

So I want to cry out

With the strength of a lion;

Because if you live by a lie,

You’ll die by one too;

But if you die with Christ,

You’ll live with him too.

 

O I want to cry out

With the strength of a lion;

But I don’t think you’ll even hear.

So I’ll lay down

Like a little lamb;

Lead me away

Like a little lamb.

And I don’t care

What you say,

I’m not living for you anyway.

You make war with your words,

But I’ll make peace with my life.

 

I want to be a friend of God

And see him face to face;

One day I’ll see him

Face to face.

WHY

Father, why are we the way we are?

Why don’t I meet with you

When you want to meet with me?

Why do I turn and run from you,

But you don’t turn your face from me?

Why do I talk to you

From my mouth and not from my heart?

But you speak to me as one to a friend.

Why don’t I come

When you call my name?

Why don’t I speak

When your word aches in my heart?

Why do I fear the judgment of liars

When you’ve already judged them?

Why do I fear the world

When it can’t touch me anymore?

Why do I fear who I was,

And fear who I will become?

Fear won’t let me be

Who I’m supposed to be.

But perfect love casts out fear.

 

O Father!

When will they see with your eyes

And heal with your mercy?

When will they know your grace

And follow by faith working through love?

It’s not our best you want,

Not our Christianity.

It’s not our doctrines and creeds

And whatever else we think we need.

It’s our hearts, souls, and minds,

In spirit and in truth.

No, no, no, not in word or in tongue,

But love in deed and in truth.

For a mind surrendered

To what’s right or what’s wrong

Is not what you require,

Because even if we’re right,

There’s still an 18 inch wall

Between our hearts and our minds.

And even if I know

Everything there is to know,

I know nothing as I ought to know.

But if I love God,

I’m known by him.

No, no, no, not by outward appearance,

But by the heart God judges,

For God does not see as man sees.

Man thinks greatness comes by strength,

Beauty by features and by skin,

And sin by ignorance,

By intake and by apparel.

But sin comes by the heart,

And the fruit of righteousness

Is sown in peace

By those who make peace.

No, no, no, not by fear of hell,

But by fear of God come knowledge and truth.

For to desire to save your life is to lose it,

But to love God more than your life is life.

O but everything is not as it seems,

Because we all love God,

But we hate our neighbors,

And we hate our brothers,

And I would even dare to say,

“I hate everyone who’s different than me.”

 

O my Father!

Take all my heart,

All my soul,

And all my mind.

And please, please, please,

Give me your strength,

For I have none.

I want to cry out

With the strength of a lion,

But who will even hear?

If they crucified you,

My Lord, my Savior,

What will they do to me?

O what if they mourned

Their own hearts

Instead of what they see?

I can’t even imagine

The lion and the lamb

Lying down together.

You laid down your life

Like a little lamb.

You cried out like a lion.

We make war with our hearts.

You made peace with your life.

THE TRIPOD

He had a tripod

And one of those cameras

That focuses in and out

With the greatest precision.

 

The moon was full

Between the branches of the trees

And not a cloud made its home in the sky.

 

Click. Click. Click.

 

He took his precious pictures

And proudly walked away,

Having captured that full and beautiful moon,

Having captured an image composed of pixels,

Each with a brightness value,

And overlapping bands of red and blue and green.

 

And he framed the image,

And he hung the image

In his upstairs room

Where he could see it every night.

And for the morning

He had hung the rising sun.

And for the afternoon

He had hung the high rising sun.

And for the evening

He had hung the low sinking sun.

And for his friends

He had hung them too

In every room.

And for his God

He had hung him too

On every wall.

 

And there he stayed,

Morning and afternoon,

Evening and night,

When he was lonely

And when he prayed,

In his waking hour

And in his sleeping hour,

With his sunrise and his sunset,

His full and beautiful moon,

His friends and his God.

 

But there was no beauty.

 

For the wind could not touch him,

Nor could the light of the sun reach him.

The water could not wash over him and wash him,

Nor could his friends laugh and cry with him.

And his God could not save him.

DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY

Getting lost isn’t hard to do;

Took one step and then another into oblivion.

Should I stay or should I go,

Stand still or run forever?

I’m still counting,

What’s the cost?

I guess it’s just my soul.

Now I’m waiting for a savior;

Who will save me?

I’m just trying to save myself.

 

I guess it’s hard to get back

When I’m trying to get ahead.

I guess it’s hard going my own way

When I don’t know which way to go.

I found it’s easier to give in,

Found it’s easier to give up;

But I’ve heard it’s the only way to fall.

I’m so tired of wasting time,

All this trying when nothing’s changing anyway.

Getting found, that’s the hard part,

Because I don’t know if I want to be found;

But when I cry out, no one’s listening anyway.

 

I never know what to do;

I make believe like I think I do.

I don’t know what it is to be true;

I find I lie most of the time.

I wish I knew how to be like you;

I wish I knew you.

All these times I’ve run away,

Now they’re coming around again,

Ticking faster every day.

I think I’m losing you.

Will you reach down?

Will you save me from myself?

I want to hear you call my name;

Call my name, I will answer.

 

O I don’t know if I’ll answer

When you call my name;

I’m hiding from you, I’m ashamed.

You said you’d never leave me,

Never forsake me or turn from me.

So why don’t I hear you?

Why don’t you answer?

I need you now more than ever;

I’m sinking in this miry clay.

Can you see me?

Can you save me?

Here’s my heart,

It’s sinking quickly;

Come and take it,

Come take all of me.

I have no more breath inside of me.

 

Here’s my heart,

Come take my hand.

HOPE

Sometimes in life

You don’t know what to do,

But don’t give up,

Hope is not in you.

When war surrounds you,

Strive for peace.

Lift your head, my child,

Hope is not in what you see,

It’s in me.

 

When you’re alone,

You’re not alone,

I’m with you now

And forevermore.

When you are weak,

I’ll give you strength,

I’ll lift you up

And be a lamp to your feet.

 

When you are lost,

Home is not far away.

Lift your eyes, my child,

I’ll meet you where you are.

O don’t know I’m not that far?

 

As the rain and snow

Come down from heaven

To water the earth

And bring grain and growth,

So my word goes forth

From my mouth

To bring you life.

 

Go out with joy,

Be led in peace.

The hills will sing

And the trees will clap their hands.

The cypress will sprout

And the myrtle too,

No thorns or briers

Will come up for you.

For this is my everlasting sign.

 

Come to the waters

Everyone who thirsts,

There is no cost,

No price to pay.

O come to me,

All who labor,

You’re burdened beyond

What you can bear.

O come to me,

And I will give you rest.

 

Here’s my heart,

Come take my hand.

Follow me

To the promise land.

By faith you’re free.

By faith you stand.

For as the rain and snow

My Son has done my will

And returned to me.

 

O where’s your hope,

Is it in what you see?

You must learn

To put your trust in me.

Dust to dust and ash to ash,

From dust you were made

And to dust you shall return,

Here one day and gone the next

As the grass withers

And its flower falls away.

But if you do my will,

You will abide forever

Right here by my side.

 

I’ve set before you

Life and death,

In my hand, eternity.

Will you turn from everything

You’ve loved instead of me?

The choice is yours,

What will you choose?

It’s all or nothing,

You have everything to lose.

 

Come to me,

Now is the day.

I know your fear.

I know your pain.

I know you’re bound

By a thousand chains.

Come and lay them at my feet.

Be still and listen now,

Hear my voice

Crying aloud.

 

My child, don’t be deceived,

If you live for evil,

Evil you will receive.

But if you hope

For what you do not see,

If you live for peace

And feed your enemies,

I’ll be with you

For all your days,

Now and always.

 

When you cry, my child,

I’ll wipe away your tears,

Raise you up on my shoulders

And take away your fears.

Wait on me

And I promise you,

You will see me soon.

 

I know the hairs on your head,

The thoughts of your heart,

All that’s hidden

Is revealed to me.

There’s more in you

Than what you know.

I’ve given you

My breath of life.

You are fearfully

And wonderfully made.

 

All things I’ve made,

All things I hold,

In beauty I clothe

The lilies of the field,

And by the light of dawn

I feed the sparrows of the sky.

O my child, don’t you know

You’re worth so much more to me?

 

Come, I’m your shelter from the storm,

Your hiding place.

IF I WERE GOD

Is it wrong to desire to make things right,

As if to say if I were God

I’d make things right?

And the orphan would have a home,

And the widow would have food,

And no one would be left alone.

I’d make everything right as I know right to be.

But what’s the point?

Is it for peace, pride, or prosperity?

Sometimes you won’t know until it’s too late.

And peace is gone,

All that’s left is hate.

I’ll try to change it all,

I’ll try to change the world

Before you stumble and fall.

I’ll try to keep on trying.

But what’s the point?

In the end I’ll just get tired of crying.

I guess I lost you somewhere along the way,

I guess I said too much or I said too little.

You said it didn’t have to do with me anyway.

I guess we’re friends or I guess we’re enemies.

So what’s the point

Of having eyes to see

And ears to hear

And a mouth to speak

When the world is full of fear

And no one’s listening anyway?

So now I’m headstrong,

So now I’m brutal night and day,

So now I’m full of wrath and agony.

So now if I were God I’d start over,

And I’d start with me.